Hell freezes over

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mklym
Posts: 907
Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:10 pm
Location: Edmonton, Alberta

Hell freezes over

#1 Post by mklym »

No, it has not been that cold in Alberta.

I found this text file on an old hdd. Thought I would share it as I got a good laugh from it.


"The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared
it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that
since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct..... .leaving only Heaven, thereby
proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last
night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+."

:D
CF-29LTQ,CF-31SBM,CF-52youngGUN,

Life's Journey is not to arrive safely at the grave in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn-out shouting 'Woo Hoo! What a ride!

Motorsports - the only real sport. If it doesn't have a motor, it is just a game.

There is always something waiting at the end of the road, if you are not willing to see what it is, you probably shouldn't be out there in the first place.

User avatar
Shawn
Posts: 2960
Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2013 11:35 am

Re: Hell freezes over

#2 Post by Shawn »

Um....creative...and funny.
Life will beat you into submission.

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